2021.

I fucking hate Holiday season especially the festivals. Because of how I spend it.

Summary of 2020: the best fucking year in 20 years of existence, honestly.

This is my Christmas and New year ritual and I'm doing it. Sitting on my kitchen floor, eating plum cake from the fridge crying after seeing the very final episode of friends. Damn, this is pain. I'm going to miss so much people down a few years and life is going to be so different but God, let me be on the Chandler Monica and kids side of the split of of the team. It is such an empty sadness that I've never felt ever when I see that empty apartment worth a decade of memories and love and just so much fun.

No I ended up rewatching many comfort films and wondered if I still feel the same. Well, it's like even guilty pleasure I'd be embarrassed to tell anyone about these films.

1. Man from uncle - Armie hammer is still the sexiest guy I've seen.

2. Another Cinderella story - I saw it last when I was 10 and now at 20, it's still the cutest rom com of my life.

3. Mahanati - yayy I get to revisit my favourite love story and the droolworthy music. How the fuck does time manage to fuck up even the most perfect couple who look like a masterpiece of art together? Ahh the songs.

4. Rebecca - Armie hammer is a snack. And gods, that beautiful cottage i still love it.5. Succession - my family story perfectly portrayed and that is the pic above too. But I can predict the ending of my story. I get it all, I get all the inheritance.

6. The gentlemen - I don't know the fuck why. Wow that's already

7. Begin again - damn it warms my cold heart.

And may be because of mahanati, I fell back into this pit called classic Tamil music and drowned and died. Vaarayo vennilave, damn give me film like missiamma, they dont make romance movies like this anymore.

I have always been a in-person person inspite of how introverted Iam. I'm talking about the few people I'm extroverted with. Loud with.

I have never valued people and life better, but I know I'm wrong. The future is too bright and hopeful, more than I've ever imagined and my 2021 planner is full even before it has arrived. I'll be 21. You only get to be 21 once.

I guess I'm leaving to chennai by end of December. Spend a day with mom, watch wonder woman, eat, send her home. Then meet with chennai friends for tenet. The next day go to Pondicherry with them for pre new year. Then meeting a very special friend to go out on new years eve, drinks. Then go to brothers house for a traditional new year breakfast. Then meet meet with college friends for lunch.

Then, off to Hyderabad for two months!

Then a trip to Ladakh, Manali, Assam, Meghalaya, sikkim, Shimla, Kasol in March.

Then college.

Then summer trip to Nandi hills and vagamon with college friends and birthday there.

Then summer trip to thekkadi with school friends.

And then meet my friends little daughter for the first time. God, I feel so fucking old. Old. My friend has a daughter named Tara which means star.

Then an Europe trip in Autumn with the special friend from new years eve. I get to transverse the countrysides, museums of Italy, paris cafes. Sit on balcony and smoke as I listen to them playing guitar. Iceland, greece, Netherlands and everything in between.

Meet cousins living in Florence and Amsterdam. Then meet a friend from Hyderabad living in Berlin.

Then I'll go to settle a college friend who is leaving to England - Lancaster for higher studies. I promised I'd stay for a few days and get her comfortable before leaving.

Inbetween this, two of my books are getting published.

By winter, a new hydroponics company will be launched and I'll be back to Hyderabad.

Life is just incredible and I hope I make it that way. My fam is the best when it comes to freedom, lemme use it. But damn them, they went to see this very talented astrologer guy who told them life was shot for me and would be great beginning on Jan 17, 2021 due to some transition shit. He told them to get me married as soon as I'm over 24 because I have Rahu dasha that makes me want to marry someone I like. Well, fuck them. Fuck astrobros. Anyway I'll not have to worry for 4 more years.

I don't like the concept of new years resolution. But I've decided that this year is for growth, for greater heights, lots of love and happiness and power. I hope I let it all happen.

I should be everything that I never was and more than what I ever wanted to be.

P.S. update right now is the Pondicherry trip is fucked and I've to spend new years night on a train to Hyderabad. Fuck me.