6.00 pm
Thanks for spoiling my evening coffee and a night of writing.
This is a very angry post.
If I have sent this link to you, F u c k i n g R e a d.
And kindly fuck off.
Just a few moments back on twitter and Instagram could show me what a hypocritical world it is. A friend called about the death of an actor, and me, I didn't know what I was thinking when I decided to go see what people said. The loads of 'Mental health is important', 'Iam here to listen', 'talk to me', 'Iam here' and the other true shit I see just reminds me where I have been and why I left. Do they do this every time someone dies or has the world really become a better place? I do understand the emotional impact that someone's death can have, thanks that I have seen too many and remember the depression after Irrfan Khan's death. But that, I don't know when I'll be ever ready to talk about. But this hypocrisy is too much, even for a person like me. Did y'all just discover mental health when he fucking died? And why do you post shit like these when even you know you are going to be a toxic self absorbed bully the very next day on Instagram? I don't even know if my anger and anguish is fair or understandable but this, this is just too much of anger boiling at the people who give no two shit. And when I see the people who post stories about how this is the time to be kind to each other, I just wanna strangle their and scream at their face, "Anniku cinema payyan ah kalaacha moonji dhana idhu?" (Yours was the face that trolled that guy?) Not that Iam a fan, but that felt like an suitable example. The very guys that make it their business to troll celebrities, bully fellow people who are known for their cringe are the ones who are posting 'Its time to be kind', 'Iam here if you want to talk' and 'DM me'. I find them to be the people who exist they way they do and think the way the do because that is what the so called 'woke' pieces of scum want them to be. I can't very well tell this to their faces of course, considering that they are my friends. But one of these days I can feel myself doing things that I never thought would do. I have made fun of people for their cringiness but never to their faces, and I have made sure they were never hurt, not even for a second. Maybe because of this I find that I feel the right to slap the bitches right across their face for their toxic 'woke' manipulation of themselves and the hypocrisy they bring. You troll people, make fun but don't for fuck's sake kill people with your words. You can never recover from the guilt, trust me I've seen people like that. Just like a kind word comforts, so does the opposite emotions go a long way.
Coming to the matter of death, suicides and how y'all seem to think that his death, pics and shit is triggering and you are crying... Please. Iam not guilty that I didn't sit and cry, some people have more strength to stomach some shit and it's not a privilege or a good thing and there is nothing to feel bad about if you don't have strength for some things. It means you've had a good life and honestly, a little part of me is envious. But Iam so happy for you too.
Does all my anger really matter? Definitely no. I can only rejoice in the fact that Iam not what I hate, lately. But the world we live is a very cruel place ( the positivity gumbal can fuck right off ) and we have to do everything it takes to make it something soft, enough for our delicate minds to exist in. And trolling a guy one day to his face, no matter how much of a cringe he is or how much he sucks and the very next day talking about kindness and bullying is just an ugly picture of many. What if he dies, assuming he suicides tomorrow? Who will be held responsible?
Maybe I'll be crazy enough to send a link of this article to him/her as a reply to their stories. Well, let me see if I can slap that face hard, reaching out from the phone screen.
On a second thought, now Iam being pulled into a cycle of social media fake people fuelled anger. I can see the twitter wars and the fights and inspite of the righteous nature of the person who responds to the wrong ones, what does it matter at the end of the day?. Satisfaction Mayira? Poi saava dha sollanum. This problem of wasting anger on people who are a potential black hole who would suck all our energies is self fuelling and one day you won't know where you'll find yourself in. Between this purposeless life, absurd to its core, I won't accept that that is all it is (fuck off nihilist, absurdist pieces of shit), this is not the way you find purpose. Don't try to tell that you are not toxic and your society is not toxic. Be kind with your words or just shut up. Don't make it a noisy place.
And if you can't be kind and accept people for what they are and not make people excludes and let them sleep at night 'not belonging anywhere', iam sure they'd try to leave their life behind too. Trust me, I know how that is (thanks to college) And maybe the man who decided to die was feeling like he didn't belong. There could be a hundred reasons for things like this. But if only we had been better, things wouldn't be the same. the end of the day, every fault points to the toxic society we have built.
Okay, finally. Iam sending a link to the piece of shits I wrote this for. If you find yourself reading this, Maybe I wrote it for you. Whenever I see the 'Woke' hypocrites, Iam just silently sending them this. Bye and yes, it's fucking rude. But atleast, to your face.
P.S. This must be the most immature, unstable post I've written in here. Not sorry.
I don't care if this is my private space, y'all need to read this. Feel free to take screenshots and bitch about the woman who called you out.
Oru rendu naal dha ungaluku lam mental health mayiru nyabagam irukum, phir kya? Ennatha pudunga porenga.
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