I must probably be really uncaring of the world and who is in it. Because the grief just vanished in thin air. The dead guy would be the only one who would be proud of me. I have really stopped giving a fuck, haven't I?
To begin with, I shall ask the judgemental fuckers to press the back button. Thank you.
Okay, it can sound a little crazy but though I don't believe in God, I believe that there is something beyond science and the laws of physics that we think we are confided in. I believe in everything that someone shouldn't. I don't believe them because it sounds cool like the fucktards that converse to me about these sound thrilling or crazy. I believe, honestly and genuinely in the concept of rebirth. We cannot, our mind cannot be a product of a single lifetime. There must have been million others to stand at this point of evolution positive or negative only time will tell. I believe in aliens. There is no way that we are alone. I honestly believe that there are several amongst us with different intentions and purposes. I believe in hypnosis, the Brian Weiss stuff of accessing the subconscious and the entire spectrum of conscience, the past and the future, no constraints of space and time. I believe that remote viewing is possible and contact to the higher self of ourselves is possible. I believe in illuminati, the existence of a new world order. I believe that corona virus is something engineered to keep is home. I believe 5g will fuck us. I believe that the entire world is being coordinated for a purpose. I believe the present people opinions are manipulated and there will be a resulting civil war atleast in India. I believe in the war on consciousness. I believe that in the time to come we all will have to make a choice to be us or to sell our souls and make a deal with the devil.
Okay, I know I have gone too far overboard.
So, I had a contact in Mumbai who does this psychic stuff. Might sound totally crazy, maybe that's why I'll never tell anyone in real life. But here I will, cause neither of us give a fuck. I had an one hour session with her. I should say, iam shook with what she told me. She could tell me everything, where is was, how I felt, how I used to feel. She denied to tell anything about the future because she holds it that we are the ones who decide the future make choices and shape our path. True, the is a destiny but it's our choice to choose it.
She asked me if I know why I felt unnaturally lonely and unconnected to people around. Of course I didn't. That's when she told me I was the adopted child of this universe, not literally, but yeah There are people like this, who don't belong. That's why I felt this way. It could be true or not but it makes me feel better like I have a reason why, I know why.
She told me I had to forgive people that I think I have forgiven but haven't really. I should forgive my father. Just a couple months and he would have gone for 6 years and yet, here I am.
Maybe I can embrace the fact that I will never really belong anywhere and there isn't anything so bad about it. Death is not the end. I'll always meet them in the infinite journey of the soul.
So. Every simple thing really feels irrelevant. When there is something great, something higher that demands our energy and time, why would we spend it wasting it on the irrelevant?
Maybe it will all come back again one day, all the grief. But if it does, so will the times of clarity, of joy.
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