I can say all of this but it is called screaming into the void:
Pls skip and go to last.
Otha why would you bother filling out a form spending 5 minutes of a great life you say you have got only to negate someone's existence of life or lack thereof. Poi Vera vela irundha Parungada. Na ennamo pannitu poren. I meant for it to be something good and yes it was good. Found such good people in the responses. But yeah, two or three have to suck. That's the universal law of balance. I'd really love it if you never visit this site again. It's for me. Why visit a site wasting your time and then bother filling out a form only to make someone feel horrible about themselves? New level unlocked: Hurting unknown people over the internet because of boredom. If you can do this to people online, I'm sorry for the ones in your real life. Thank fuck the people I know aren't this. Wow. I really can tell you're cynical, have overconfidence, extremely fearful and insecure and have a lot of suppressed anger I don't know why. Don't project it on others. You seem self aware, so you should know this already. So, don't click this link again! And no you can't have been here through social media. I took the link off before anyone noticed. You must be one of the mfos from that politics gc I sent the link to back in June. All things said and done, I can accept things that has been said. Shit, I think you sound eerily similar to a few people I know in rl. But you know what, 9 out of 10 people in the world are like you and them. Cynical assholes who have a shit life and will be happy to project it on others and feel self important and validated and ego boosted. No purpose in life. I'm not denying I'm the same. I'm the same, as everyone. This is my space and my record. And you don't even know my name. So, I shall stay here. You shall leave and stay left. And I shall do what I do and go on writing stuff!
And then I can try writing more diary stuff: Now, people underestimate the effect food can have on them. One ice cream and I'm happier than ever. But then at moments like this, get filled with confidence. You get a clear picture of what the future is going to hold or what your career is going to be. Even if it isn't clear cut, you know for sure that you don't have to be fearful, don't have to oscillate. You just know that even if you don't know, you know it will be perfect and as it has to be.
So yes, time makes things flow. After discussing business with friends I think we have a clear idea of what it's going to be like. It's going to be fucking awesome and I think I'm waiting for that time to come. A future proof business... I even am close to get an internship.
Mom bought 1 kg of gulab jamun and rasagulla ahm. Not making me that happpppyyyy.
But this is reality: Okay. That's it. Can't even try to type anymore. Thoughts getting too fragmented to write one post. That's all. I shouldn't have done it. That Google form was an impulse something I thought was fun. This place doesn't feel the same. So yes. I can't pretend it's okay. Can't even stay angry. Because there is no reason to.
Maybe it's time to leave here too. No no no no no no I don't want to leave this too. Maybe it's true. Maybe it's true. Maybe that's why I can't stand it. If a stranger's thoughts can affect me, maybe I'm not as invincible I think of myself to be.
Please ignore the rants above, maybe it's my ego that makes me question myself and my inability to accept harsh truths that makes me defensive. You are absolutely right. It just sounds harsh, like truth is supposed to sound like. I'm terribly sorry if I have caused any hurt in the first para. Must be my ego. I wish I wasn't this person but I am. I should probably thank you and try my best to feel less socially anxious and respond to the messages in WhatsApp I have been ignoring with the idea of protection this place gave. But people are terrifying. I've had enough of a lesson opening up. But maybe I should give it another chance. Finally, an incentive to leave.
Wait. No, it can't be. But it sounds... Distantly familiar. I don't believe in coincidences. But This time I will. But no, it can't be. It isn't. Anyway, it doesn't matter.
Shit either dies on paper or in an electronic prison. Sometimes it dies in your brain or in those of those who you confide in. It dies.
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