Let's just say I have been enthralled and impressed so very deeply by someone. A guy. How does he look? How does he talk? How does he walk? What is his poise? What is the power he holds in the room? How Powerful and meaningful is his silence? How egoistic and selfish is he? How joyful is he in his uncompromising work? How undefeated does he stand at the end of the day?
One fucking answer.
Howard Roark.
Never in my life have I met someone who even came to 1% of what Howard Roark is. The uncompromising selfishness and work ethic. The poise. The assertiveness of being. Maybe it's the nature of a soul like that, so unbending, so powerful, unbeatable in his strength. Nobody like that exists or can be allowed to exist.
If someone like that exists, I will lose all freedom of being in a state of not needing or liking anyone. If someone like that exists, I would envy the world he lives in, the ground he walks upon, the bed he sleeps in, for they wouldn't be worthy of him. If he exists I will try my best to destroy him, because it is better that the world destroying him and better that he ceases to exist. If someone like that could exist, I would hate him, destroy him, worship him.
This core selfishness of what could be if someone like that existed astonishes me. Dominique Francon would agree with me.
Maybe it's this years of obsession, mad obsession with Howard Roark that I decide I want to make something, a character as a homage to him. The least I could do. But if someone like him can exist, I would probably give up my entire life, happiness, every last drop of joy for him. And since this is a world where an artist so uncompromising, so original, so morally lacking can't exist, I probably am happy of how free Iam from giving up my life.
Howard Roark is probably the only character I have deeply loved. Because I see shards of reflection of me in him. Very minimal. The rest is him, fucking perfection.
But thinking about it, how utterly perfect and the level of knowing that has to bd present between the characters? I know everyone criticised how Roark raped Dominique the first time but dong they see the next passage, the absolute.
But I know I agree with Dominique most of the times and I believe that there is no other way. When the world tries to destroy him, his art, I would punish myself too because that is the only way to exist.
Btw Tenet. Absolutely mesmerizing. The reviewers are totally off point. It is quite an easily understandable film. Those fuvkers should try primer. That's the true paradox. This was a beautiful emotional tale. Gods I know I cried in the end. Robert Pattinson is at the pinnacle of his career, seeing from where he started: twilight.
It's a truly spiritual film, tenet.
Though I'm unfortunately irrevocably in love with Howard Roark, even if he is imaginary, a part of me seeks the sunshine, goofyness. Happiness, carefree 'I made a playlist for you' kind of thing. Gods, why does this very unfortunately remind me of my very first college crush? After three years? Fuck.
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