சதிபதி விரோதம் மிகவே சிதைந்தது இதம் தரும் வாழ்வே.

Still hung up on the tale.

Now, when everyone sees this the first thing they want to discuss is 'whose fault is it is'. Worst beginning ever. It's never just one person's faults. I ask myself who the fuck Iam to talk about them and then the answer pops up. I'm just someone who is trying not to end up like that.

Gemini Ganesan is who anyone would blame at first sight, because of his womanising ways and toxic nature. But if we see more, we can see Savitri Garu's toxicity too. She was a compassionate, humble human being, talented and beautiful. But she was stubborn, too stubborn that she couldn't forgive him at all, too much that she couldn't call him even at the moment she needed him the most. Whatever that man could have been, he was also a responsible manager of life. He had managed the financial aspects, saving her money. Once it ended, she couldn't manage. She had poor management skills and more emotionally driven than logically. He could have tried to help her when there was still time left, but when he finally did, it was too late. What if she was stubborn, that is not an excuse for him to just call her once, get rejected and leave. He should have put more effort. Now, after all a break up is a very silly reason to get alcoholic, forget real life and put herself and her kids in jeopardy. That ego that she wouldn't accept his help, that could have changed many things. Again and again, we only see what could have been and the toxicity dynamics.

But it did feel sad, when I was listening to the song 'எட்டடுக்கு மாளிகையில் ' from பாத காணிக்கை. There is a sad song that goes like this.

எட்டடுக்கு மாளிகையில் ஏற்றி வைத்த என் தலைவன் விட்டு விட்டு சென்றானடி இன்று வேறு பட்டு நின்றானடி தேரோடும் வாழ்வில் என்று ஓடோடி வந்த என்னை போராட வைத்தானடி கண்ணில் நீரோட விட்டானடி காலங்கள் உள்ள வரை கன்னியர்கள் யார்க்கும் இந்த காதல் வர வேண்டாமடி எந்தன் கோலம் வர வேண்டாமடி எட்டடுக்கு மாளிகையில் ஏற்றி வைத்த என் தலைவன் விட்டு விட்டு சென்றானடி இன்று வேறு பட்டு நின்றானடி.

They both were in it and it came out in 1962. Savitri Garu sings this. Somehow that song had defined her entire life and one of the saddest shits I've ever heard. She could have been less stubborn and could have asked him for help or even accepted his help. Womanising apart, he could have made more effort. ஆனாலும் என்னால் அதில் எவரையும் குற்றம் சொல்ல இயலவில்லை. நானும் அங்கிருந்தால் இதைதான் செய்திருப்பேன் என்பது அச்சமூட்டும் எண்ணமாக இருக்கிறது. ஆனால் அவர்களின் இந்த முடிவு மற்றும் சுபாவம் தான் இத்தகைய கதை இருக்க காரணமா? Was it this tragedy and the pain they brought upon themselves that made them who they are and made it a story worth seeing?. Haunting thought actually.

Then as she switches on the TV to hear him sing சதிபதி விரோதம் மிகவே சிதைந்தது இதம் தரும் வாழ்வே. What a definition for life. With a huge warning to myself, I go sleep.

I wonder, if I were in the 1950s or 60s, the dreams of writing for a film would have been better because today's cinema world is excessively fast, shitty for my taste. It had actually been better those days. Wish I could have lived in Chennai during those days, when population is sparse and it's all quiet. Chennai today is a shitfest and so is the cine production houses.